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pirateygoodnessFull recap this week, on account of it is ~winter break~ and I've got some extra time on my hands to discuss TV on the internet. HUZZAH FOR US ALL.
WE BEGIN WITH BO AND LAUREN. OH GOD THERE IS SO MUCH DELICIOUS GAY TENSION.
Lauren is apparently going on some kind of trip with Nadia. I assume it is an all-inclusive, all-making-out tour of the beautiful Canadian countryside. Possibly it is also because Nadia just woke up while Lauren has spent the past five years kiiind of experiencing indentured servitude, and they cannot exactly pick up where they left off. But oh, there is this wee part of me that is like, god I bet she wants to remember why she loves Nadia, because now that she's awake Lauren has to be in it with Nadia and but she's got herself all tangled up with Bo, and it's hard not to seem distracted when Bo keeps looking at her like she wants to mount her right on the couch.
Bo is - god, so awkward and cute and sweet. Lauren is awkward and sad and awkward. And - oh. Oh. Lauren's all, "I don't want you to call, and I'm not going to call you, but I'm coming back. PS: I re-committed myself to the Ash because he saved Nadia."
Bo looks like she just saw someone kick her puppy. Well. She looks like she just saw someone kick her puppy and now she wants to hit them.
THREESOMES, SHOW. ALL OF THIS COULD BE SOLVED BY THREESOMES.
OMG and then THIS, I LOVE THIS I LOVE THIS I LOVE THIS. Bo tries to explain why, 100%, the Ash is evil. Except that she can't talk about the mask or saving Nadia herself, and also she is so inarticulate and adorable and incandescent with frustration. THE WORDS YOU ARE LOOKING FOR ARE, "THE ASH STOLE MY GIRLFRIEND AND I AM PETTY."
DON'T WORRY BO, WE'VE ALL BEEN THERE, TRYING TO START A PITCHED SWORDFIGHT OF PRINCIPLE OVER SOMETHING THAT OBVIOUSLY HAS TO DO WITH GIRLS.
(Also: Bo mocking Kenzi for having a boooooyfriend who she loooooves and totally wants to doooooo will never not be adorable. Best.)
Meanwhile:Giles Trick is busy reading his books of prophecy in the library back of the bar. He would totally love to help Bo with her ladyboner problem, except that it's a very important night of powerful magic ritual tonight, and so he needs Bo to fetch him a magical ring to keep him safe.
This scene also contains the line "It's a plant, that's also part sheep," which I plan to quote often and whenever I am unsure of what to say. I believe it will be the new "supercalifragilisticexpialidocious."
Of course, he is asking Bo to forget about what's going on in her pants for the sake of the greater good, and we all know how that usually ends.
LOLLLLLLL OH GOD I CANNOT. MEANWHILE, CANADIAN NATE COMES OVER TO VISIT KENZI AND PLAY HER GUITAR. LIKE, DUDE: YOU ARE ALREADY IN HER PANTS, YOU CAN QUIT IT WITH THIS ~ARTIST JAZZ.
(Confession: I made a ridiculous, embarrassing noise when he got to the part about liking ponies.)
WHAT IS THIS MAN. HE FLIRTS LIKE A TWELVE-YEAR-OLD AND HAS ZERO GAME. That said, it's super cute, mostly because Ksenia Solo.
Bo and Dyson and Trick and Hale are all preparing for this ~magical ritual~. Bo is all, "Anyway, since this ritual is totally gonna tell us that the Ash is evil, how about I just go sneak into his compound right now and beat him up? :D? :DDDDD?"
I JUST. BO IS SO SWEET. SHE CANNOT BE MAD AT LAUREN FOR ANY OF THIS, AND NADIA IS INNOCENT, THEREFORE THE ASH IS THE DEVIL WRAPPED IN POWERFUL MAGIC SHROUDED IN VILLAINY. She totally lurves Lauren, like a teenager, and it's wonderful.
Anyway. Even though Trick has 100% expressly forbidden Bo doing anything involving the Ash, breaking into stuff, or swords, and Bo has agreed, she's clearly totally doing it anyway. Dyson sneaks her a scroll which I assume contains a map and instructions on how to break into the Ash's compound, personally hand-scrawled in crayon by him.
Secret confession: when they are not thinking about having sex with each other, I sort of don't mind Bo and Dyson as totally platonic bros. He makes a much better friend than a ~sexy police detective love interest~.
MEANWHILE, AT BO'S HOUSE: WHAAAAAT. YOU KNOW WHO IS PURE EVIL? CANADIAN NATE. HE CANNOT TAKE KENZI OUT OF TOWN TO HIS CREEPY GIGS. THAT IS A HORRIBLE IDEA, WHO WILL HANG OUT WITH BO. SHE IS REALLY FRAGILE, EVERY TIME SOMETHING GOES WRONG IN HER LOVE LIFE SHE EITHER TRIES TO SAVE SOMETHING OR STARTS A SWORDFIGHT, AND THAT HAPPENS LIKE HOURLY.
Uh, so even though Trick has expressly told Bo not to go near the Ash at all, Bo is wearing the magical coat she inherited from her great-great-great-great grandfather, Richard Rahl, and unfortunately it causes the wearer to only make silly choices. So she sneaks in to the Ash's compound through THE DUNGEON, STILL NOT OVER IT, and goes through his stuff and finds his creepy box full of heads. Yes, plural.
Surprise, the Ash discovers her.
THEN HE CALLS HER MOM A WHORE, AND THEY HAVE A SWORDFIGHT. GOD THIS SHOW THIS SHOW THIS SHOW. Anyway, the fight is ridiculous and Bo looks suitably dashing and swashbuckly in her fine coat, and then all of this ends with Bo mentioning the Nein Rouge and the Ash totally bailing on the swordfight in favor of chatting.
APPARENTLY, Bo is theChosen One Slayer Seeker Champion. The Ash wants her to lead the Fae against a kind of thing that I won't spell, because They Are Coming. And only Bo's magic sex powers can save Canada the world.
Guys: this is gonna be rad.
The end: Kenzi was kind of a total dick to Bo, and I got sad. I feel like they are building to this point where,like at the end of Becoming, Part 2, Bo feels like she doesn't have anyone and then has to rely on ~what's inside~ to save the day, except that ugh. This. Bo comes home looking all shell-shocked, and Kenzi is like HI BO HI GUESS WHAT I GOT LAID, CANADIAN NATE IS THE BEST AT DOING IT AND ALSO I'M GOING TO GO ON TOUR WITH HIM, I HAVE ALWAYS WANTED TO SEE THE DIVE BARS OF OTTAWA IT WILL BE THE BEST :D :D :D?
Kenzi is super cute, except that she is totally oblivious to the fact that Bo has clearly had a bit of a bad day. In her obliviousness she leaves Bo alone, in the dark, in her empty house, to process her destiny. By herself. :(
ANYWAY, you guys. LET US DISCUSS THIS MAGICAL SHOW. :DDD?
WE BEGIN WITH BO AND LAUREN. OH GOD THERE IS SO MUCH DELICIOUS GAY TENSION.
Lauren is apparently going on some kind of trip with Nadia. I assume it is an all-inclusive, all-making-out tour of the beautiful Canadian countryside. Possibly it is also because Nadia just woke up while Lauren has spent the past five years kiiind of experiencing indentured servitude, and they cannot exactly pick up where they left off. But oh, there is this wee part of me that is like, god I bet she wants to remember why she loves Nadia, because now that she's awake Lauren has to be in it with Nadia and but she's got herself all tangled up with Bo, and it's hard not to seem distracted when Bo keeps looking at her like she wants to mount her right on the couch.
Bo is - god, so awkward and cute and sweet. Lauren is awkward and sad and awkward. And - oh. Oh. Lauren's all, "I don't want you to call, and I'm not going to call you, but I'm coming back. PS: I re-committed myself to the Ash because he saved Nadia."
Bo looks like she just saw someone kick her puppy. Well. She looks like she just saw someone kick her puppy and now she wants to hit them.
THREESOMES, SHOW. ALL OF THIS COULD BE SOLVED BY THREESOMES.
OMG and then THIS, I LOVE THIS I LOVE THIS I LOVE THIS. Bo tries to explain why, 100%, the Ash is evil. Except that she can't talk about the mask or saving Nadia herself, and also she is so inarticulate and adorable and incandescent with frustration. THE WORDS YOU ARE LOOKING FOR ARE, "THE ASH STOLE MY GIRLFRIEND AND I AM PETTY."
DON'T WORRY BO, WE'VE ALL BEEN THERE, TRYING TO START A PITCHED SWORDFIGHT OF PRINCIPLE OVER SOMETHING THAT OBVIOUSLY HAS TO DO WITH GIRLS.
(Also: Bo mocking Kenzi for having a boooooyfriend who she loooooves and totally wants to doooooo will never not be adorable. Best.)
Meanwhile:
This scene also contains the line "It's a plant, that's also part sheep," which I plan to quote often and whenever I am unsure of what to say. I believe it will be the new "supercalifragilisticexpialidocious."
Of course, he is asking Bo to forget about what's going on in her pants for the sake of the greater good, and we all know how that usually ends.
LOLLLLLLL OH GOD I CANNOT. MEANWHILE, CANADIAN NATE COMES OVER TO VISIT KENZI AND PLAY HER GUITAR. LIKE, DUDE: YOU ARE ALREADY IN HER PANTS, YOU CAN QUIT IT WITH THIS ~ARTIST JAZZ.
(Confession: I made a ridiculous, embarrassing noise when he got to the part about liking ponies.)
WHAT IS THIS MAN. HE FLIRTS LIKE A TWELVE-YEAR-OLD AND HAS ZERO GAME. That said, it's super cute, mostly because Ksenia Solo.
Bo and Dyson and Trick and Hale are all preparing for this ~magical ritual~. Bo is all, "Anyway, since this ritual is totally gonna tell us that the Ash is evil, how about I just go sneak into his compound right now and beat him up? :D? :DDDDD?"
I JUST. BO IS SO SWEET. SHE CANNOT BE MAD AT LAUREN FOR ANY OF THIS, AND NADIA IS INNOCENT, THEREFORE THE ASH IS THE DEVIL WRAPPED IN POWERFUL MAGIC SHROUDED IN VILLAINY. She totally lurves Lauren, like a teenager, and it's wonderful.
Anyway. Even though Trick has 100% expressly forbidden Bo doing anything involving the Ash, breaking into stuff, or swords, and Bo has agreed, she's clearly totally doing it anyway. Dyson sneaks her a scroll which I assume contains a map and instructions on how to break into the Ash's compound, personally hand-scrawled in crayon by him.
Secret confession: when they are not thinking about having sex with each other, I sort of don't mind Bo and Dyson as totally platonic bros. He makes a much better friend than a ~sexy police detective love interest~.
MEANWHILE, AT BO'S HOUSE: WHAAAAAT. YOU KNOW WHO IS PURE EVIL? CANADIAN NATE. HE CANNOT TAKE KENZI OUT OF TOWN TO HIS CREEPY GIGS. THAT IS A HORRIBLE IDEA, WHO WILL HANG OUT WITH BO. SHE IS REALLY FRAGILE, EVERY TIME SOMETHING GOES WRONG IN HER LOVE LIFE SHE EITHER TRIES TO SAVE SOMETHING OR STARTS A SWORDFIGHT, AND THAT HAPPENS LIKE HOURLY.
Uh, so even though Trick has expressly told Bo not to go near the Ash at all, Bo is wearing the magical coat she inherited from her great-great-great-great grandfather, Richard Rahl, and unfortunately it causes the wearer to only make silly choices. So she sneaks in to the Ash's compound through THE DUNGEON, STILL NOT OVER IT, and goes through his stuff and finds his creepy box full of heads. Yes, plural.
Surprise, the Ash discovers her.
THEN HE CALLS HER MOM A WHORE, AND THEY HAVE A SWORDFIGHT. GOD THIS SHOW THIS SHOW THIS SHOW. Anyway, the fight is ridiculous and Bo looks suitably dashing and swashbuckly in her fine coat, and then all of this ends with Bo mentioning the Nein Rouge and the Ash totally bailing on the swordfight in favor of chatting.
APPARENTLY, Bo is the
Guys: this is gonna be rad.
The end: Kenzi was kind of a total dick to Bo, and I got sad. I feel like they are building to this point where,
Kenzi is super cute, except that she is totally oblivious to the fact that Bo has clearly had a bit of a bad day. In her obliviousness she leaves Bo alone, in the dark, in her empty house, to process her destiny. By herself. :(
ANYWAY, you guys. LET US DISCUSS THIS MAGICAL SHOW. :DDD?