pirateygoodness | Entries tagged with people: inside jokey aus!

LOL YOU GUYS I CAN'T EVEN.

( pirates vs. ninjas vs. zombies vs. pandas )

This is a phone game. That actually exists. I cannot even, how did the world become this wonderful.

In conclusion, I THINK THE MOST IMPORTANT QUESTION HERE IS, DOES THIS MAKE

thrace_ THE ZOMBIE, OR THE NINJA.

So APPARENTLY there are rumours that for the past two weeks I have been trapped in

fivewhatfive's basement lair, awaiting rescue by

thrace_. THIS IS PATENTLY FALSE. Everyone knows,

fivewhatfive is easily distracted, and I always keep a fresh supply of sparkles and jingly keys in my pockets. I rescued my damn self.

Anyway, I've been spending the intervening time ~~plotting revenge~~ watching television and objectifying ladies, it's been great.

I saw the Rocky Horror episode of Glee, and - guys, I get that Ryan Murphy is a gay dude, and wants to write stories about gay dudes, and honestly if I had my own TV show it would be NOTHING BUT LESBIANS. But really I just want to watch the Very Special Brittany And Santana Episode, where they maybe buy a baby kitten and make a pact to go to the same college and be together forever.

I've also been PINING because there have been NO OLIVIA DUNHAMS on my TV at all, but this is helping a little.

( spoilers for 3.04 )

Also, frankly, I am horrified that

thrace_ would not bring anyone on her totally unnecessary crack rescue team to give me a hug and buy me coffee afterwards. Like, say Myka Bering or Kahlan. Come on.

OMGOMGOMG it's thrace_'s birthday!

(

fivewhatfive made this.)

ANYWAY GO TELL

thrace_ HOW AMAZING AND NOT AT ALL OLD SHE IS IN THE COMMENTS.

+ I found this video via TED via someone on Facebook, but it's honestly one of the most succinct, articulate ways I've seen to describe the basic philosophy of Just Being Fucking Nice To People. But with science? The Empathic Civilization, by Jeremy Rifkin.

+ I feel like maybe the internet was busy watching the Emmys last night, so in case you were one of those people: my ridiculous Blake/Olivia is up. The primer to the ridiculous, only-in-our-heads 'verse that this goes with is here at

thrace_'s LJ, but it really doesn't matter which you read first.

+ I finished Batwoman: Elegy a few days ago, on an absolutely spot-on rec from

mimesere and omgomgomgggggg ♥Kate Kane♥. I want to read all about everything she does, ever. SHE'S LIKE BATMAN, EXCEPT I'M NOT BORED BECAUSE SHE'S A GIRL. ~~And also she's not a BIG WHINY LOSER.~~ PLUS she wears suits and fights crime and bangs chicks, NOT THAT I HAVE A TYPE OR ANYTHING.

My only problem is that I need like, a very easy-to-read flowchart of exactly which issues I should read next and why. Figuring out comics is a challenge for me.

+ Somehow, this (again, from comicallyvintage, IT AND

oxymoronassoc ARE HALF MY TUMBLR I SWEAR) needs to be some kind of AU. I'm thinking Bleighton, but Disney could totally work, too. Get on that, universe.

Current Mood: good
Current Music: Tigers on Trains - The Silk Road

LOLLL so

thrace_ goaded me enough that I finally made

dunham_swagger happen. It's going live tonight. In case you watched Fringe and were like, "Wow, Olivia Dunham. With her gay shirts and her gay boots and the way she shoots people in the head when they harm children and puppies. ~~And also the way she smells her sister's hair and that one time she made out with a stripper.~~ There should be fic."

She also made this gif, which amuses me ROUGHLY INFINITY.

Anyway, go join, if it's your thing.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MARY/fivewhatfive

LET'S ALL TALK ABOUT HOW GREAT SHE IS IN THE COMMENTS.

Oh god. So you guys know how I keep threatening to inflict my CIA Agent Blake Lively/Hotass FBI Agent Olivia Dunham fic on all of you, right? Well, UNBEKNOWNST TO YOU ALL,

thrace_ has quietly been enabling me this whole time. Because, like.

This is not just a story about Blake and Olivia hooking up. It's also the stepping stone into an entire separate universe that basically makes Fringe into The L Word except not terrible and nobody has cancer and also they fight crime.

thrace_ has a wicked primer on this universe up in her journal (I helped), and it's amazing. There are ficlets and a flowchart and everything.

Run, don't walk.

HEY DO YOU GUYS LIKE VIKINGS?

HOW ABOUT LADIES?

How about FABULOUS NORSE LADIES who WIELD SWORDS and RIDE STEEDS and MAKE OUT WITH EACH OTHER for several thousand elegantly-crafted words?

GUYS I AM PRETTY SURE YOU SHOULD BLOCK OFF A FEW HOURS AND GO READ THE SAGA OF BLAKEN THE BLOODTHIRSTY, IT IS PRETTY FUCKING EPIC.

YOU WILL DO THIS:

Current Mood: excited

OMG, you guys! It's FICATHON REVEAL TIME. Well, almost. The

jb_ficexchange author list hasn't been posted yet, so the ~incredibly secret~ fic I wrote for that will have to remain ~totally secret~ for now.

However, I wrote two other stories, one for

yuletide and one for the

bleighton_squee ficathon:

Title: Things Less Awkward Than Falling In Love
Fandom: Disney Channel RPF
Challenge: Written for

cereal as part of

yuletide.
Pairing: David Henrie/Selena Gomez
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 2,968
Summary: Selena still sits down next to him at lunch, wearing a Paramore t-shirt that he's seen a dozen times before, the one that's two sizes too big. But this time, he doesn't see his TV baby sister in her dorky band shirt - instead, he can't help seeing this banging hottie, wearing a top that clings at her shoulders and her boobs in a way that makes David want to start picturing her naked. That's the problem, right there.

(here.)

Title: "Illegal" Is Just Another Word for "Business Opportunity"
Fandom: Gossip Girl RPF
Challenge: Written for

austen in the

bleighton_squee Winter Ficathon.
Pairing: Blake Lively/Leighton Meester
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 8,982
Summary: In which Blake is a liquor smuggler and Leighton is a flapper and Chace runs an underground speakeasy for fabulous homosexuals. 1920s AU.

(here.)

Also, JENNIFER is a ~~wicked temptress~~ ~~sin peddler~~ evil crack dealer, and APPARENTLY I am watching Legend of the Seeker now. IDK why, as the entire canon is a complicated genre version of CHOOSE ABSTINENCE propaganda and I THINK WE ALL KNOW that I am all about chicks making out with stuff. But Kahlan (?) is really really really hot, in her flowy dresses of noble purity and then in her bondage gear of even more purity. (This. . .makes marginally more sense when you watch the show.)

DO ANY OF YOU WATCH LEGEND OF THE SEEKER? DO YOU KNOW OF ANY PICSPAMS WHERE KAHLAN IS MAKING PRETTY FACES OF ETERNAL SEXUAL FRUSTRATION? I think I need an icon. :|

Current Mood: excited

HEY DO YOU GUYS KNOW WHAT IS AWESOME? When your incredibly talented friends feel that they've somehow ~wronged~ you and actually agree to your half-joking suggestion that you write them dorky date fic featuring your favourite teenage popstars.

IN OTHER WORDS,

jengrrrl WROTE ME A STORY AND IT IS GRRREAT. (See what I did there? I MAY JUST QUIT SCHOOL AND WRITE PUNS, PROFESSIONALLY. LIKE THOSE OLD CRANKY MUPPETS.)

In other words, you should all drop everything right this second and read Playing With Fire (Demi/Selena).

It is much, much better than any and all of the jokes I've made in this entry.

Current Mood: grateful

This has nothing to do with anything, except that it's

jengrrrl's fault (as most things are). Well, and a little bit because

thrace_ posted that manip of Blake Lively riding a unicorn.

Let's say, hypothetically, that the following Gossip Girl cast members were reincarnated as mythical creatures. What would they be?

ETA: APPARENTLY the answer to Leighton's question is very ~controversial, and I am not saying there is a CORRECT RESPONSE, but.

[Poll #1493013]

Also, oh god. There is this picture, and it involves Jessica Szohr and is a SPOILER FOR FUTURE EPISODES OF GOSSIP GIRL, but cuuuuuuute. I don't even care about the relationship that spoils for, VANESSA APPEARS TO BE SMILING. NOBODY IS STANDING HER UP OR RUINING HER EXPERIENCE AT THE SNOWFLAKE BALL OR BLACKMAILING HER OR BEING CHUCK BASS TO HER. PROGRESS, SHOW.

Also also, apparently Canadian iTunes now has season passes, which is rad because I love the CBC but hate subscribing to cable. GUESS WHO'S WATCHING THE ENTIRE SEASON OF THE MERCER REPORT? THIS LADY.

Current Mood: working
Current Music: Jonathan Coulton - Skullcrusher Mountain

LOLLL WHAT'S UP YOU GUYS.

So, a lot of things happened in the last couple of days on the internet. THINGS WITH CELEBRITIES THAT I THINK ARE SWELL.

First of all, let us discuss how adorable and awesome and cute and badass Demi's vid to "Remember December" is. Because SERIOUSLY, she is such a sweetheart and I love how BB ROCKSTAR and REBELLIOUS she is. It just makes me want to pinch her cheeks. Like, I am not saying this is the kind of music video that's going to be High Art? But it is exactly the kind of video I would have made, were I a jilted seventeen-year-old popstar ~~trying to rescue Princess Selena from the clutches of the evil dragon~~, and I love it for exactly that and nothing more.

( video! )

Also, Demi did this really adorable Got Milk ad, in which she crowdsurfs and teaches people about healthy teeth and bones and it's really adorable? You can find pictures from that here and here and here.

ALSO, ON A TOTALLY NOT TEENAGE AND COMPLETELY PERVY NOTE, LET US SIT DOWN FOR A MOMENT AND DISCUSS LEIGHTON'S GQ SHOOT. Which, sorry, is not SLUTTY, it's just UNF. (via

blairwaldorfs, duh.)

( see? )

I bet that is what you see when you die and go to heaven, okay? ~~Or possibly if you're Blake Lively and someone wants to play puppy again.~~ That's all I'm saying.