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pirateygoodnessPICSPAM TIME. Apparently the key to winning my sweet, sweet free time is to be FUNDAMENTALLY RIDICULOUS.
We begin at the Dal. ApparentlyWINTER IS COMING we know that PERIL IS IMMINENT because all of the animals have started acting so weird that it's made the news. Including the fact that every single snake at the zoo has disappeared. EVERY SINGLE SNAKE AT THE - I JUST - THIS SHOW..
Somehow, this segues into a barfight. Because the Garuda - who I swear I thought was like a race of evil creatures, but is apparently just one guy - now has minions, and they want Trick to come to their lair.
IDK either. There is a barfight.
SURPRISE: CHIARA IS BACK! Apparently she has the same Fae powers as Nightcrawler? Cool.
There is a whole bunch of stuff with the plot that is intensely complicated and kind of unimportant. Basically: things happen. It occurs to Bo that maybe if Nadia was possessed by the Garuda, he like, learned some stuff or whatever.
HER SOLUTION TO THIS IS: A) BREAKING INTO LAUREN'S HOUSE B) PULLING A KNIFE ON LAUREN WHEN SHE NOTICES THAT SHE HAS BROKEN IN C) ACCUSING HER OF LEAKING INFORMATION TO HER EVIL GIRLFRIEND, AND THEN D) NOT APOLOGIZING FOR THAT ONE TIME SHE STABBED NADIA.
Lauren, understandably, is not really having it. On account of the fact that last time they saw each other, Bo sort of stabbed her girlfriend to death a little.
Instead of picking up on the situation and apologizing, Bo tries to play the "dude, I know this is sad or whatever but we're at war" card. It sort of backfires.
BO THIS IS LIKE LESBIAN RELATIONSHIPS 101: WHEN YOU STAB YOUR EX-LOVER'S POSSESSED GIRLFRIEND, YOU SAY SORRY AFTERWARDS, EVEN IF YOU DON'T MEAN IT.
Back at the Dal, um. So. APPARENTLY Dyson was "gone," and wherever he went he was "getting answers" by "talking to a wolf-spirit," who told him that he would defeat the Garuda. I am, at this point, just transcribing what the characters say because I have no idea what's going on. WHO CARES, WE ALL KNOW I'M IN THIS FOR THE SWEET LADY DOCTORS AND BO, THE CHOCOLATE LAB OF SUCCUBI.
Anyway. Bo is all, SURE, HIGH FIVE. I BET THE ASH IS LYING TO US ALL ANYWAY. LET'S MAKE IT HAPPEN BROSKI. DEFEAT THE SHIT OUT OF HIM.
(This all happens over like, six scenes and there's a whole interlude with Trick and the Ash, but basically this is the upshot.)
Because of Dyson's shirtless vision quest, (there is not a font in the world to describe how hard I am rolling my eyes at that), they have all now realized that they're going into battle, like, tomorrow? Whatever.
Ciara comes over to Dyson's because she doesn't want to die without banging him first. They are also into knifeplay, IDK. Attn![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
fivewhatfive etc. Anyway. She is really smiley and sweet and sensible, and I like her an awful lot, which means I probably should have seen the end of the episode coming.
THE IMPORTANT THING HERE IS: OH GOD, LAUREN.
So she shows up at Bo's house and suddenly has managed to put aside her REMEMBER THAT ONE TIME YOU STABBED MY GIRLFRIEND anger to admit that she is grieving and really needs someone right now.
She starts off by asking if there is something to drink in the house. Bo says there is, but in the process of explaining that she has to say the word "bed." They stare at each other, awkwardly. On account of they have had sex. In that bed. Get it? Beds are for doing it. And by "it," I mean SEX.
Turns out Lauren meant drinking shots, omg, and then - honestly this is the best written scene of the entire episode. I wish I could play it back for you all. Lauren is sweet, and babbles, and it's perfect and exactly the way she would behave. Eventually, after circling around the subject for a bit (while Bo makes the most EXCELLENT bewildered faces, because she does not understand science even a little bit), Lauren quietly asks to get laid. It is the cutest ever.
Then she talks for a solid several minutes about the neuropsychological reasoning behind wanting to have sex after loss, and Bo is all, "Dude. Dude, you're in, it's fine. You are adorable and have boobs and this house is located in a very small suburb of Toronto called Bonertowne, Population: Me."
She even says it's cute when Lauren geeks out.
But then - good god. Lauren breaks down, and admits that she actually didn't mean sex after all, and THE WAY BO'S FACE FALLS, A++ ANNA SILK. It would be HILARIOUS if it weren't for the fact that Lauren is choked up and all, "please, please actually could we just spoon a little, I haven't slept since my girlfriend died in my arms," and asdflksjfklsfjsd;fksdkfljs;ln GUYS I CANNOT.
I - okay. You know how sometimes, when your friend is dating an absolute tool and every second weekend they call you to complain about how their boyfriend/girlfriend is a jerk, something inside of you just wants to sit their lover down and give them a serious talking-to about appropriate grownup behaviour? THAT IS THE FEELING I AM CURRENTLY GETTING FROM BO.
Fortunately, Bo is a fictional character on TV, so I have the luxury of telling her off.
Okay. I feel better.
Anyway. They lie on Bo's bed together and Bo lets Lauren process and is oddly supportive, given the above. It's really really really really sweet and I expect roughly a thousand fics about the sweet, lazy, sorry-I-stabbed-your-girlfriend sex they had before Lauren finally drifted off. AND/OR SPOONING. YOU GUYS KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT SPOONING.
LOLLL SO THEY ARE GOING TO WAR AGAINST THE GARUDA LIKE LITERALLY THE NEXT DAY. Seeing as it's episode 20 of 22, I feel like this is going to end VERY BADLY, and possibly be a lesson in why you don't let Dyson be in charge of stuff.
SPOILER ALERT: IT ENDS REALLY, REALLY BADLY. CHIARA DIES. The Ash dies, and he has this whole ~plan where he's going to save some of his venom in some test tubes and then get killed but IT'S OKAY, BO WILL BE ABLE TO USE IT TO KILL THE GARUDA OR WHATEVER. Except maybe not, because the venom is 'coagulating' or something?
JEEZ LAUREN, THEY HAVE SPECIAL TEST TUBES FOR THAT. ALSO THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE UNLESS HIS VENOM IS MADE OF BLOOD AND/OR CHEESE? BUT I THINK WE HAVE ALL LEARNED BY NOW THAT THINKING ABOUT THIS SHOW'S INTERNAL LOGIC TOO HARD WILL MAKE ONE'S HEAD EXPLODE, SO PERHAPS I SHALL LET THIS ONE BE.
Anyway. Lauren and Trick are concerned.
Bo is not concerned, because she is busy finding Kenzi. They meet in a dramatically-lit misty alleyway, where Kenzi is busy saving Dyson, like a boss. They are really sweet and choked up, and then have a long conversation about not dying together and friendship, etc, while Dyson lies bloody and unconscious on a trolley next to them.
We end on a magical friend hug.I don't ship it, I swear.
We begin at the Dal. Apparently
Somehow, this segues into a barfight. Because the Garuda - who I swear I thought was like a race of evil creatures, but is apparently just one guy - now has minions, and they want Trick to come to their lair.
IDK either. There is a barfight.
SURPRISE: CHIARA IS BACK! Apparently she has the same Fae powers as Nightcrawler? Cool.
There is a whole bunch of stuff with the plot that is intensely complicated and kind of unimportant. Basically: things happen. It occurs to Bo that maybe if Nadia was possessed by the Garuda, he like, learned some stuff or whatever.
HER SOLUTION TO THIS IS: A) BREAKING INTO LAUREN'S HOUSE B) PULLING A KNIFE ON LAUREN WHEN SHE NOTICES THAT SHE HAS BROKEN IN C) ACCUSING HER OF LEAKING INFORMATION TO HER EVIL GIRLFRIEND, AND THEN D) NOT APOLOGIZING FOR THAT ONE TIME SHE STABBED NADIA.
Lauren, understandably, is not really having it. On account of the fact that last time they saw each other, Bo sort of stabbed her girlfriend to death a little.
Instead of picking up on the situation and apologizing, Bo tries to play the "dude, I know this is sad or whatever but we're at war" card. It sort of backfires.
BO THIS IS LIKE LESBIAN RELATIONSHIPS 101: WHEN YOU STAB YOUR EX-LOVER'S POSSESSED GIRLFRIEND, YOU SAY SORRY AFTERWARDS, EVEN IF YOU DON'T MEAN IT.
Back at the Dal, um. So. APPARENTLY Dyson was "gone," and wherever he went he was "getting answers" by "talking to a wolf-spirit," who told him that he would defeat the Garuda. I am, at this point, just transcribing what the characters say because I have no idea what's going on. WHO CARES, WE ALL KNOW I'M IN THIS FOR THE SWEET LADY DOCTORS AND BO, THE CHOCOLATE LAB OF SUCCUBI.
Anyway. Bo is all, SURE, HIGH FIVE. I BET THE ASH IS LYING TO US ALL ANYWAY. LET'S MAKE IT HAPPEN BROSKI. DEFEAT THE SHIT OUT OF HIM.
(This all happens over like, six scenes and there's a whole interlude with Trick and the Ash, but basically this is the upshot.)
Because of Dyson's shirtless vision quest, (there is not a font in the world to describe how hard I am rolling my eyes at that), they have all now realized that they're going into battle, like, tomorrow? Whatever.
Ciara comes over to Dyson's because she doesn't want to die without banging him first. They are also into knifeplay, IDK. Attn
fivewhatfive etc. Anyway. She is really smiley and sweet and sensible, and I like her an awful lot, which means I probably should have seen the end of the episode coming. THE IMPORTANT THING HERE IS: OH GOD, LAUREN.
So she shows up at Bo's house and suddenly has managed to put aside her REMEMBER THAT ONE TIME YOU STABBED MY GIRLFRIEND anger to admit that she is grieving and really needs someone right now.
She starts off by asking if there is something to drink in the house. Bo says there is, but in the process of explaining that she has to say the word "bed." They stare at each other, awkwardly. On account of they have had sex. In that bed. Get it? Beds are for doing it. And by "it," I mean SEX.
Turns out Lauren meant drinking shots, omg, and then - honestly this is the best written scene of the entire episode. I wish I could play it back for you all. Lauren is sweet, and babbles, and it's perfect and exactly the way she would behave. Eventually, after circling around the subject for a bit (while Bo makes the most EXCELLENT bewildered faces, because she does not understand science even a little bit), Lauren quietly asks to get laid. It is the cutest ever.
Then she talks for a solid several minutes about the neuropsychological reasoning behind wanting to have sex after loss, and Bo is all, "Dude. Dude, you're in, it's fine. You are adorable and have boobs and this house is located in a very small suburb of Toronto called Bonertowne, Population: Me."
She even says it's cute when Lauren geeks out.
But then - good god. Lauren breaks down, and admits that she actually didn't mean sex after all, and THE WAY BO'S FACE FALLS, A++ ANNA SILK. It would be HILARIOUS if it weren't for the fact that Lauren is choked up and all, "please, please actually could we just spoon a little, I haven't slept since my girlfriend died in my arms," and asdflksjfklsfjsd;fksdkfljs;ln GUYS I CANNOT.
I - okay. You know how sometimes, when your friend is dating an absolute tool and every second weekend they call you to complain about how their boyfriend/girlfriend is a jerk, something inside of you just wants to sit their lover down and give them a serious talking-to about appropriate grownup behaviour? THAT IS THE FEELING I AM CURRENTLY GETTING FROM BO.
Fortunately, Bo is a fictional character on TV, so I have the luxury of telling her off.
Dearest Bo,
YOU JERK. YOU SAVED LAUREN'S GIRLFRIEND AND TOLD HER YOU WOULD STILL BE HER FRIEND, AND THEN GOT ALL AWKWARD AND WEIRD ABOUT THINGS WHENEVER SHE WANTED TO TALK. ALSO: RYAN.
THEN WHEN LAUREN'S GIRLFRIEND TURNED OUT TO BE POSSESSED BY THE GARUDA, YOU STABBED HER, AND PEACED OUT LIKE FOUR SECONDS LATER.
LAUREN HAD TO CLEAN UP. SHE HAD TO FIGURE OUT WHAT TO DO WITH THE BODY. AND THEN SHE HAD TO SIT, ALONE IN HER APARTMENT WITH THE GIANT BLOODSTAIN ON THE FLOOR, FEELING SAD WITH NOBODY TO TALK TO. WHAT IS THIS "OH YOU'RE ALWAYS WELCOME HERE" NOW THAT SHE'S DRUNK AND PLIANT ON YOUR COUCH, COME ON.
GET IT TOGETHER,
Okay. I feel better.
Anyway. They lie on Bo's bed together and Bo lets Lauren process and is oddly supportive, given the above. It's really really really really sweet and I expect roughly a thousand fics about the sweet, lazy, sorry-I-stabbed-your-girlfriend sex they had before Lauren finally drifted off. AND/OR SPOONING. YOU GUYS KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT SPOONING.
LOLLL SO THEY ARE GOING TO WAR AGAINST THE GARUDA LIKE LITERALLY THE NEXT DAY. Seeing as it's episode 20 of 22, I feel like this is going to end VERY BADLY, and possibly be a lesson in why you don't let Dyson be in charge of stuff.
SPOILER ALERT: IT ENDS REALLY, REALLY BADLY. CHIARA DIES. The Ash dies, and he has this whole ~plan where he's going to save some of his venom in some test tubes and then get killed but IT'S OKAY, BO WILL BE ABLE TO USE IT TO KILL THE GARUDA OR WHATEVER. Except maybe not, because the venom is 'coagulating' or something?
Anyway. Lauren and Trick are concerned.
Bo is not concerned, because she is busy finding Kenzi. They meet in a dramatically-lit misty alleyway, where Kenzi is busy saving Dyson, like a boss. They are really sweet and choked up, and then have a long conversation about not dying together and friendship, etc, while Dyson lies bloody and unconscious on a trolley next to them.
We end on a magical friend hug.