pirateygoodness: (gg: no - you're so funny)
[personal profile] pirateygoodness
OH my god, you guys, GOSSIP GIRL. This week was possibly the SINGLE GAYEST EPISODE OF THE ENTIRE SEASON. I am in LOVE.

So in love, in fact, that I put together an EPIC PICSPAM just now - actually two, because I accidentally took like 90 caps and that was too many for one entry.



So anyway. Previously, on Gossip Girl, Serena and Blair broke up because Serena was dating Fake RPattz and Blair picked up a hooker, or something. IDK. Also, Nate's brother is now a congressman.

This episode is ostensibly about something to do with cotillion or whatever and Jenny, but like. No.

So Nate and Chuck, in the middle of their weekend full of threesomes with strippers bro time (which. . .I don't know why they're having it. But they are.). Anyway, they realize that Blair and Serena have broken up over - wait, how did Chuck put it? They're fighting over "basically, how each one loves the other more than the other." So they're like, KNOW WHAT'S BETTER THAN PRETENDING WE LIKE STRIPPERS? SETTING UP OUR TOTALLY HOMO EX-GIRLFRIENDS. LET'S DO IT!

Well, Chuck says that. Nate looks hung over.



This involves a Very Clever Scheming Text message, sent while Serena has gorgeous fucking hair and makes cute faces.



In the meantime, Blair has a meltdown to some adorable baby S1 Jenny 2.0 (it's complicated and involves cotillion, IDK) about how friends are stupid because "Girls like her run emotional Ponzi schemes. Serena will never like you the way you like her."

IT IS PRETTY GAY. Like, SCREAMINGLY gay.



Later, at cotillion, BLAIR IS FILLING THE VOID LEFT BY SERENA by teaching that same young girl to BALLROOOM DANCE.



Nate and Chuck have decided that the solution to Blair and Serena's relationship troubles is to lock them in an elevator.



And then oh my godddd. They figure out Chuck's ~dastardly plan~ pretty quickly, partly because he tells them via the elevator security intercom. After that, this happens.

"So, what did my text supposedly say?"

"That you're sorry and you miss me."

"Did you text me back?"



YOU GUYS THEY ARE DATING. LIKE, ACTUALLY. IF THIS SHOW DOES NOT END WITH THEM AND THEIR BIG GAY SOCIETY WEDDING IN CENTRAL PARK, I WILL ACTUALLY BE SHOCKED.

Oh, and then Blair and Serena get drunk in the elevator and talk about her daddy issues. (And, hilariously, Serena promises to let Blair veto all the boys she sees from now on. This comes up later, but I got tired of capping.) Then Chuck says it's okay for them to make out, if they want, because he's been creepily watching the entire thing on the hotel security system. They respectfully decline but only because he's watching.



The other half of this (THE DAN/OLIVIA/VANESSA PART, WHICH GETS ITS OWN PICSPAM) is coming later, I've got to run to class.

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