pirateygoodness

You guys, I am starting to get concerned about Ashley Tisdale. I mean, yes yes yes, we LOL about how she broke up with Jared McDancerface because he is in a humiliatingly awful boy band called V Factory (LOLS). (Except! SCANDAL! V FACTORY DENIES THE RUMORS - "THE TIZZ IS ALL FOR JARED.")

And that is WHATEVER, because obvs that was a HSM showmance and BESIDES HE IS KIND OF A LAME BOYFRIEND, she could do better/just date Vanessa, AND THAT WOULD TOTES BE COOL.

Except now - NOW - she is apparently dating THE ICKY DIRECTOR OF HER GROSS MUSIC VIDEO and like, GOING TO BARS WITH HIM UNTIL 3AM, AND POSSIBLY - DEPENDING ON WHERE YOU GET YOUR GOSSIP - GIVING HIM LAPDANCES, which is just SKETCHY.

Like, Ashley just needs to not be the HSM celeb who has the meltdown, okay? YOU CAN BARELY TELL WHETHER OR NOT SHE'S SOBER WHEN SHE IS JUST BEING HER.

IDEK. Thoughts?


(Oh and also, Zac Efron was brilliant and articulate and took pretty pictures in his GQ cover, and Vanessa has a SELF cover that features her in a bikini in a way that's much less creepy than Ashley's SHAPE cover, but everyone else keeps talking about them better and first, so IDEK. I will maybe talk about them later, but probably I won't.)

[Poll #1374192]

Also: GUYS GUYS THE NEW DEATH CAB EP LEAKED, and because BASICALLY I AM THE QUEER CHICK VERSION OF SETH COHEN CIRCA S2-ish, I am absolutely GIDDY. "I Was Once A Loyal Lover" is AMAZING. Ugh, I just want to lie on my bed and listen to it on repeat for like six hours.

So anyway, I'm bored. Amuse me, internet.

[Poll #1368989]

OH MY GOD YOU GUYS.

SORRY.

OH MY GOD YOU GUYS

OH MY GOD YOU GUYS

YOU GUYS.

BANDSLAM TRAILER. THE MOTHER-EFFING BANDSLAM TRAILER.

( behind the cut )

(For the total losers uninformed, Bandslam is the new post-HSM Vanessa Hudgens movie, and she plays a ~punk rock kid~ and has to pretend-play the guitar and IDEK what the plot is, but FUCK THAT I DON'T CARE, VANESSA HUDGENS WOULD LIKE TO START SHREDDING, OKAY? HOLY FUCK BEST FILM EVER.)

(This. This is why I don't watch the Oscars.)

I DON'T KNOW IF I HAVE PROPERLY ARTICULATED MY LOVE FOR GIRLS WITH DARK HAIR WHO WEAR COMBAT BOOTS AND CUFFS AND SWEATERS WITH THUMB HOLES AND THROW DEVIL HORNS, BUT IT IS A SHOCKING AMOUNT OF LOVE, AND BASICALLY THIS MOVIE IS GOING TO MAKE MY HEART EXPLODE. LIKE, IN A GOOD WAY.

LOLLLLL. So, okay. My thelittlebang is a Blake Lively/Leighton Meester EPIC AU, in which Blake is a CIA agent undercover in the US and Leighton is a sort-of-Russian/sort-of-British spy AND THEY DO IT FIGHT CRIME. And fivewhatfive not only offered to beta read it? She also made a LUDICROUS CRACK MANIP of Blake Lively in (sort-of) drag as a CIA agent and posted it on the internet.

IT IS HERE. YOU'RE WELCOME, UNIVERSE.


Also (via the judgey folks at disneychannel), most gangsta shirt EVA, y/mfy/bitches?



(Relatedly, the rest of her latest Ecko Red shoot is here and here and here. Her hair is ridiculously glossy and pretty and they put her in kneesocks, and good goddamn.)

I feel like everything I want to say about the Oscars (or rather, what Zac and Vanessa did at the Oscars, because I long ago made the active choice to entirely ignore the awards part in favour of paying attention to things that don't make me angry) I have already said, repeatedly, in all-caps, at various posts in oldmarrieds. But basically, they boil down to a combination of VHUDG: GODDAMN BE HOTTER and OMG THEIR FAACES GUYS THEY ARE LOOKING AT EACH OTHER OMG and ZACHARY. DID YOU ACTUALLY JUST TELL E NEWS THAT SOMETHING WOULD BE "PRETTY RAD?" ILUUUU.

In conclusion, ( this picture. )

They are ridiculously pretty. (And also I do not even think Zef understands where V's waist is, since he's physically incapable of not patting her butt in public. But that is sort of the best part.)



Does anyone here listen to The Spill Canvas? I can afford to iTunes one of their albums, and I'm waffling between One Fell Swoop and No Really, I'm Fine. Advice and/or links would be appreciated.

Oh my GOD. So, a whole bunch of new behind-the-scenes HSM3 scans leaked onto the internet today, which is AWESOME and EXCITING, and OMGOMG there are a bunch that are super Zanessa Tisdale-y, and I felt the need to share.

In other words: PICSPAM! :D :D




( part one: i have a thing for VHudg in little-to-no makeup )



( part two: ZOMGZANESSATISDALE )


And, just because it's adorable:




Also, on a totally unrelated note: this song feels, to me, like a love ballad between Blake Lively and her purse dog. I am hoping I am not the only one.

Hanson - Penny & Me

So, I watched Katee Sackhoff's episode of Nip/Tuck.

1. She is REALLY REALLY PRETTY, and drives a Harley and wears eyeliner and basically looks about a millisecond away from bursting into happy giggles at any given moment. It's amazing.

2. JESUS FUCK THAT SHOW. The medical ethics drive me up the effing WALL, I had to fast forward through like every scene Katee wasn't in. Seriously, WHO ( spoilers!? ) More to the point, in what UNIVERSE would someone ever think YEAH, I BET DOCTORS DO THAT ALL THE TIME, and WRITE THAT INTO A SCRIPT. What the FUCKING FUCK.

3. I don't care if you love Nip/Tuck or feel that it's ~serious art~. I stand by point #2.



Also, it is Gay Sex Capslock Thursday at ashnessa_squee for like. . .one to four more hours, depending on your time zone. WOO!

So, uh. It's possible that I was talking to people and accidentally tripped and created ashnessa_squee, which is a deadly cracktacular LJ comm for people who like a) Vanessa Hudgens, b) Ashley Tisdale, c) looking at pictures of them together and going ". . .OMG MAKE OUT PLZ"; and d) typing in capital letters.

Join? :D?

(I also feel like I should pimp vash_daily here - it's not my comm at ALL but it does a really good job of being an awesome place for V/Ashley as BFFs, and has pretty pretty pictures.)


Also, this is the part where I tell everyone that I signed up for thelittlebang, and that you all should do it too! I think I'm going to go with Blake/Leighton James Bond AU, mostly because I want to write about gay spies in drag and make Leighton a Russian communist and possibly set the whole goddamn thing in the sixties just so I can make lots of wildly sexist jokes and pretend I'm Ian Fleming. It's totally possible I'll write 15,000 words of Vanessa and Ashley snuggling on my own time, just because. ANYWAY. Apparently, it is also BYO Beta Reader? So if any of you are interested in beta-ing 15,000 words of absolutely cracky Blake/Leighton AU and patiently laughing when I go on a James Bond tangent, here would be the place to let me know!



Does anyone have a copy of "Freak-a-Leek"? Like, the rap song from three or four years ago? I've only got the remix, and feel like it's time I actually hear the original.

I - okay. This is sort of hard to explain, but it's so awesome it made my FACE MELT and I need to share it with all of you. Basically bartzina13 is a hilarious Blake/Leighton crack mastermind, and she decided that OBVIOUSLY WHAT GOSSIP GIRL FANDOM NEEDS is fansubs of the pilot, rewritten as if Blair and Serena are gay and Nate is a stripper and Rufus is hilarious and just. You need to WATCH IT, and I guarantee you will spend the entire 40 minutes doubled over your keyboard, cackling like a lunatic. IT IS THAT GOOD.

(ETA: OH, MAYBE A LINK TO IT WOULD BE NICE? It's here.)

Basically, it also reminds me of how much I LOVE Gossip Girl when I'm totally ignoring everyone jizzing over how great Chuck Bass and old people kissing are (which. . .sorry guys, I love that you love him, just. . .we have got to agree to disagree), and makes me want to do a Blake/Leighton James Bond AU for thelittlebang like, REALLY hard. (It would be awesome! Blake could be a rakish, scotch-swilling spy and I could put her in drag again, because apparently I find that sort of hot! Leighton could be a gorgeous, knife-throwing femme fatale who's sort of slutty! TOGETHER, THEY HATE COMMUNISTS!?)


Anyway, now I have to run to class, even though oldmarrieds (switching fandoms now) has like, 13409823048 posts about how basically, Zac and Vanessa went to Japan and made googly eyes at each other and did ridiculous things and Zac was a total, total dorkface. Which, at the moment, sounds like a lot more fun than what I'LL be doing with my morning.